Monday, November 17, 2008
What would YOU say?
Dustin and I sing in a stake Christmas choir, (the stake is our church region consisting of about 11 congregations). So there have been about 5 rehearsals now and last night at practice we were all mixed up, not sitting by familiar people and stuff. I was sitting near the isle and this woman that I've NEVER seen at practice before, don't know her/her name, nothing, squeezes past me to an inside seat. I say "Sorry, it's a little tight through here," meaning the narrowness of the isle. She says back to me, "It's ok, we all understand how that goes," and proceeds to RUB MY BELLY as she passes me!!! At first I thought, she just rubbed my fat, that's strange, then it dawned on me, she thinks I'm PREGNANT!! Ok, so I'm pretty sure I sucked in my gut the rest of the practice and seriously contemplated lipo-suction before next Sunday when I might see this woman again. Then I thought, should I say something?? I didn't, but would you?? Just for the record, no I'm not expecting anything! Maybe this is a sign that even though I weigh the same as when I got pregnant with Damen, my tummy does not look the same and I should REALLY do something about it. Any and all opinions are welcome:)
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4 comments:
Wow, I'm sorry Mel! If it makes you feel any better, I look pregnant when I sit down, too. Having a baby changes your tummy forever. If you didn't mention anything to her she would go on not knowing any better and may continue to make the same mistake with other women. What she did was wrong and I feel must be corrected so that she doesn't place other women in your position, feeling hurt and self conscious about their body. It's hard enough being a woman, wife, and mommy today...but, PLEASE remember that you are an amazing, beautiful, daughter of God! I would take her aside and have a private conversation with her next time you see her. Good luck! I love you!
How awkward! She was definitely out of line. I think I agree with the comment made by the Benson family...you probably should talk to her.
Oh my gosh! I hate it when people touch my belly when I am pregnant. Can you imagine how she'd feel if she knew? I admit, I have no idea how I would bring up that subject again, but it seems like she ought to know. Hmmm... maybe you could pull a tampon out of your purse next Sunday, right in front of her, or just complain about cramps or something. lol
Mel, sorry that happened. My favorite story like that is when I took Aspen to the grocery store and this woman asked me how old Aspen was and I proudly said 5 weeks! And she said, "don't worry, honey, you'll lose that baby fat in no time." I, of course did NOT tell her that my baby was adopted and the "baby fat" was just my own lard! :)
But seriously, she meant no harm and was not intentionally trying to say anything hurtful. Just as I am sure this woman was not meaning to be insensitive or hurtful in any way. I wouldn't say anything to her - she wasn't doing anything wrong in her mind or in her heart - she wasn't being mean or vindictive. We all know its not socially ok to ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you know for sure, but people do it all the time.
I think if you said something to her at this point, the only good it would do would be to embarrass her and bring up the whole incident again. Which really wouldn't do anyone any good. And chances are, it wouldn't prevent her from saying anything to other people. My grandma always said things like that to people - no matter how many times anyone would say something to her - some people never change. And the only thing that accomplished was grandma thinking people are rude to her when she was just trying to be nice.
But do whatever you feel is best! My two cents would be just to let it go because I'm sure she didn't mean to be hurtful. :)
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