I love to shop.
I do, I love to try things on, to look, to judge, to find the PERFECT bargain. I love it.
I also love to swim. Put me in the water and I am at home, comfortable, exercising, floating, it is joy.
Something that I don't love though, that is an evil necessity to the aforementioned activities, is shopping for a swimsuit.
Why oh why must this be so difficult? It's just a bit of material, arm, leg and head holes and wa-lla, swimsuit! Oh no, it must involve many many trips to the dressing room in at least three different stores, mirrors that showcase(emphasize) your "qualities" and at least one "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING WALKING AROUND IN PUBLIC WITH THIS BODY!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!" Yeah, that's how it goes.
Target, Walmart, Kmart and Kohls all had their chance to wooo me into something shapely, flattering, and water worthy and failed, miserably. Taking a three year old along might have added to my haste, but it didn't change the fact that my (ahem) size women need certain comforts when floating free. They do not include metal rings/loops/or other assorted bling placed squarely in the chest area, a neckline that stops just above the belly button, or colors that outshine the sun.
One suit I tried on had a lot of promise, it's tag stated specifically that I would appear 10lbs thinner, instantly! How could that not be good? I tried it on fully expecting a small lipo machine to begin sucking the fat from my pores, naturally what else would I expect? How else could I look 10 lbs thinner while standing there practically nude, well except for the thin layer of spandex & nylon? I ask you HOW??
Nothing nearly so dramatic happened, it fit, it covered, I turned to view the back and it sagged, sadly so. I took (inherited) something from my Grandma S., her lack of a back-side, no Jay-lo issues here, nope, quite the opposite in fact. Thanks Grandma:)
In the end Ross turned out to be THE store. With exactly two onepiece suits in my size I tried them both on and found a winner!
I fully expect this suit to last me at least two if not three swimsuit seasons so that this kind of "necessary evil" shopping can be avoided for as long as possible!
5 comments:
Oh Melanie, you are so funny! :)
p.s. have you ever tried going 2 piece? I get a tank top type top, I guess they're tankinis or some stupid name like that. But Nike ones at Kohls actually are like a jogging tank top, with support, even. And then I just get swim shorts for bottoms. Works out well for me. Might be worth a try in two or three years when you get a new one. ;)
AMEN! You are too funny.
Fun post! I got very into your story! Glad you found a couple good ones. On a side note...Look forward to seeing you soon!
How did I not read this until now? HILL-ARIOUS!!! Man, you crack me up. Glad everything worked out. I really need to get a new suit...mine is about 12 years old. YIKES!
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